Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Why did I come to Canada?! Part 17 of 27

About 3 days later I was woken up by stomach cramps. I got up to go to the washroom and looked in the mirror, I saw a very ugly girl. I was very pale, had extremely puffy eyes and lips, my hair was dull from using hand soap. I looked disgusting. I spent pretty much the whole day in the bathtub because I didn’t have anything to use for my period. The cramps were so bad I didn’t want to move. (Later I got the brilliant idea to use Piercedtongue’s designer shirts in lieu of pads)

It was around 10 a.m. when a loud knock on the door woke me up. I quickly got up thinking that it might be Moe (He usually knocks before coming in). I ran to the bathroom to make sure that I didn’t have anything disgusting in there. I waited for a couple of minutes and then the knocking stopped so I went to check through the peephole and found an envelope with my name on it. I was scared to pick it up so I waited for about 10 minutes to open the envelope. In the envelope there was a 20 dollar bill and a note from Midas saying that he needed to talk to me and he we would be back in a couple of hours.

I was hungry so I checked to see how much food was left, which was just about 6 crackers and half jar of jam. I needed pads, shampoo, painkillers, lotion, etc. I was sick and tired of living this way. I could end this by just saying yes to Midas, after all it would be a one time thing.

I took a shower, groomed, and waited for him.

I was feeling icky. I can’t do this I have to get out because if he comes I know I would say yes.

I went out the door and started walking when I saw him. My heart dropped to my stomach when he walked towards me. I thought about running, but my body wouldn’t move. He asked me if I had made up my mind. I looked at him and thought: No I can’t have sex with this man. This is too disgusting.

I was having a war in my head; like a good angel/bad angel type of war.
He was pulling my wrist and telling me to go somewhere where we could talk.
I told him to leave me alone, otherwise, I was gonna start screaming and calling for the cops.

His voice became calmer as he got closer to me and almost in a whisper kind of voice he told me how much he liked me since he met me. He said he really wanted to help me and that he didn’t want a relationship because he got hurt many times just like me.

I didn’t buy it and I felt insulted that he thought I was that stupid. I screamed to the top of my lungs and said, “STOP FOLLOWING ME, LEAVE ME ALONE!” The few people that were on the street turned around to look at him. He told me that I was stupid and that I had lost an opportunity. In my mind I was thinking the same thing. I wanted to cry, but thought “fuck him,“ I’m not gonna cry, and I’m tired of crying and I don’t want to ruin my make-up so I am gonna spend his 20 dollars.

I was walking and heard a guy speaking Spanish on his cell phone. I had never heard anyone speak Spanish since I came to Canada so I stared at him and he looked at me and I turned away. He approached me to introduce himself. He had a hardcore Spanish accent and I couldn’t understand anything so I answered back in Spanish. We talked for a while. He said he was on his way to a Hispanic social club and invited me, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go. He kept insisting, stating that I needed to work on my Spanish (my Spanish is fine).

Antonio was nice, funny, and gay.

I was very excited because I wanted to meet people so I went to the social club. Everybody was really nice, but most of the time I would talk to Antonio. He was very funny and I was so glad I was able to forget about my problems for a bit. After a few visits Antonio and I became friends.
A club member invited us to his birthday party. I decided to go because I had nothing better to do; I was having a really good time dancing, talking, and drinking. I t was about 2 am and I was drunk. I knew I had to go home before I got worse.

Antonio walked me to the subway station but it was closed. He said that he didn’t live far from there so I could stay at his place if I wanted to. I thought that I could trust him because after all he was gay.

I don’t remember how I got to his place, I just recall that I was in his bed and he was kissing me. I pushed him away and don’t remember exactly what I said, but was basically trying to tell him that he was gay and that this couldn’t be possible. He said that he never told me he was gay and he thought I liked him. I wanted to leave, but he stopped me and said that I was too drunk to be on the street. I cried and told him my whole story and he apologized for making a move on me. He assured me that he wouldn’t take advantage of me and kept talking, but I was too drunk to care.

I woke up the next day thinking I should leave before he would have a chance to see me, but he was sitting in the living room. He said, “I am sorry about last night.” I told him that it was alright so he asked “Can we just forget about it and be friends?” I agreed and we moved on. He is still my friend until this day.

To be continued....


AlenaRosa said...

Hispanics even in our misguided ways tend to look out for each other. I am loving the series and all the Mariah tracks! go you for being brave to share and self-aware enough to learn from your past!

The Drifter said...


Thank You for visiting my page again. I am honored by your compliment, Thank You.

Shania said...

AlenaRosa: I agree with you in our misguided ways it is very true. thanks for your complements and I am glad that you're liking my MC tracks.

Drifter: You are truly a great writer, no need to thank me.

.beee. said...

I'm glad you found someone who was truly, finally nice to you. Someone who you at least got to vent to in the time when you most needed it. I'm glad you're still friends with him to this day.

Richard said...

It is nice to have at least one person that is compatible with you.

Shania said...

bee and Richard: In deed it was a total blessing to have meet this guy, he has being of great help especially emotional.