Saturday, March 14, 2009

Why did I come to Canada?! Part 10 of 27

It was Saturday afternoon and a new friend of Piercedtongue came home. We had a get together bought some booze play cards, and listened to music. We were joking, playing and talking about all source of things, I was having a really good time and happy to be socializing.

Piercedtongue excused himself and said he was going to get ready to go out with Suleman (his new friend), I asked where they were going and he replied “we are having a guys night out, don’t worry about it”.
This situation was killing me, why can’t I go I asked? He answered “I told you, you have to be the woman of the house, and you can’t be associating yourself with the whores, remember we are going to get marry but I need you to be only mine.”

I nodded in agreement but I was dying inside. He walked away to take a shower and I was left with Suleman.
Suleman was trying to start a conversation but I was not interested, I did not give a damn to whatever he had to say, he can go to hell for all I cared.

I grabbed a bottle of tequila and started drinking, I’ve drank before when I was in high school but never gotten drunk, I was feeling a burn in my throat but kept drinking as if it was water.

I started to feel happy, joyful, and everything seemed easy, it felt like if I was floating.
I was still conscious of my surroundings and I knew what was going on. I remembered Suleman started moving closer to me and began feeling me up, I kept moving his hands off my breast , he was covering my mouth, piercedtongue was still taking a shower and had no idea that his fucken “wife to be, lady of the house” was getting fondled by his friend.

I was scared that Piercedtongue would walk in any moment and hit me or something like that. I did not care for Suleman but if piercedtongue wasn’t there I would probably fuck his friend, it was my way to stick it to the man.

He came out the shower and was furious when he saw me drunk, (he did not see Suleman touching me at that moment he was trying to take the bottle of my hands)Piercedtongue was yelling at Suleman in Arabic and I could see Suleman pointing at me and the bottle. I was laughing my head off and simulating to speak Arabic. I got up and tried to kiss piercedtongue but he pushed me away, I thought it was even funnier and was laughing hysterically.
He left with Suleman, I started bawling and felt weak and sleepy.

The next morning, I woke up lying on the floor in my own vomit. I was surprised that I did not have a hangover but I still felt terrible and I was miserable because I was putting up with his shit.

Piercedtongue finally came home,he talked to me and said that if I wanted to be with him things needed to change,that I embarrassed him in front of Suleman, that he asked Piercedtongue why he wasn’t able to control his woman (if he only knew, I did not say anything because I did not want to cause more problems)from now on, I was only allowed to go out with Mina, not Sasha because she was a bad influence. That he would take me to work and pick me up, I must cook and clean when I get home and should seriously start thinking about wearing a hijab (the scarf that Arabic women wear.) I could not believe what he was saying. I was very distressed and told him that we had this discussion before and came to an agreement.

He said it was different, I was getting out of control, I was disrespecting him in front of people and that if I was in his country he would’ve already punished me for my behavior(I still have no idea what “punishment” meant.) I was dumbfounded, I told him that I did not agree, he could go and fuck himself, I was not going to do it.

He said ok, there is the door, get the fuck out of my house and don’t ever comeback forget that I even exist. I started grabbing some of my stuff and not knowing where I was gonna go, it was bitterly cold outside (Canadian winter cold) and I could die sleeping on the street. I was about to walk out the door with the few things that I took when he stopped me and said that I was insane, he loved me and wanted to make me happy but I had to know where my place was, I am the woman and he is the man.(Any other sane person would run for the hills but not me, I stood by “my man”)

And again, we had sex, I was tormented, I couldn’t let him go, I loved him, I am out of my mind if I am planning on leaving him, just obey him, he is not a bad person, he is trying to start a family and you are such a bitch, it’s all your fault Shania, you make him angry, you are a horrible person for treating him this way, you will never find love again, just stay and make him happy he is a nice guy.

I was willing to endure everything just to have his love.

To be continued...


.beee. said...

You're a brave woman. Sorry, but I would've already left that asshole if he was treating me like that. But I do understand how leaving would be hard. You were in a scary new place, and still really young; so I definitely see both sides of the story. Thanks for sharing all this!

vixen kitten said...

I would have been out of there. I don't know how you found the strength to stay.


underOvr (aka The U) said...

Good Morning Shania,

It doesn't seem to matter how many times I read about a situation like your's, I cannot truely understand it. I tell myself, "If I were a woman and this happenened to me I would..."

The truth is I do not know what I would do under those circumstances. I believe it is difficult to honestly look at the reality of a situation when emotions cloud the mind.

The fact that you're describing this experience tells me you've escaped the tyranny and sheer stupidity of this relationship. I do not infer that you and PT are stupid, only that, the underlying values and principles that established and maintained the relationship were flawed.

I believe that "Truth taken to any extreme philosophy will always result in error."

I'm happy that the light of truth became your revelation. I wonder if PT still prefers to walk in the darkness of self-deception.


Anonymous said...

Thanks For Your Comment

Richard said...

Sounds like he wanted a slave. Someone to obey his wishes.

Umas said...

You are a very courageous person.

It's very dofficult to do what u did.You stayed not because you were weak but you wanted to give your relationship a chance.

God bless you.

AlpHa Buttonpusher said...

Dear Shania,
you deserve an in the spirit of sisterhood I am passing one to you:)
Go to my blog and check your well earned award xoxox

Creativestudent said...

hi! thank you for the comments! i hope you like my blog! Your post is very intense, you are a brave woman! Pop back to my blog sometime and follow if you like what you read!

Rob Mullis said...

this seems very difficult. Perhaps if this is not what you want, then you should reconsider.

Shania said...

Thank you all for your comments. I tried to answer each one of them but this box is too small.

I know many of you wonder why I stayed, well I was very young and inexperienced. I was far away from home, like U said my emotions were clouding my mind and I guess I really wanted to work things out.

Many times I saw people in destructive relationships and swore that I would never let anyone treat me that way.....

While I was in this relationship I did not see it as an "abusive" relationship,there was no physical abuse,no emotional abuse in the sense that he would call me names and tell me that I am ugly,stupid,etc..

I did not know the meaning of a "destructive relationship"

U: I loved your comment,it was very true everything especially:

"the underlying values and principles that established and maintained the relationship were flawed.
I believe that "Truth taken to any extreme philosophy will always result in error."

Shania said...

Alpha B: thanks so much, I am honored.... I can't believe it

Muahh, (big kiss)