Monday, June 22, 2009

When I ‘m gone

The day my time is done, I want to be happy

I want to be complete

I don’t want to have any regrets

I don’t want to be thinking what if? And I should’ve or why didn’t I?

When my time is up

I want to look into the eyes of my family

Without saying a word, with out making a fuss

I want them to know that I had a great life

That while I was here

I made a difference in their lives

No tears, no sadness, no frustration, no negativity

I have done what I can and have fulfilled my mission in life

I had learned so much and truly knew what living meant...

I am ready to meet my creator

I am ready to move to the other dimension

Where there is none of that silliness that I was accustomed while living on earth

In that place, no one cares about how much money you have, the way you look, what your ethnicity is, or what university you graduated from

It will just be me, my true essence...

No fa├žades, no lies, or pretending to be someone that I am not

Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t be able to hide anywhere

I will be exposed

I would be standing there as if I was naked, but won’t feel vulnerable

I will feel confident and whole

I would have to take responsibility for my actions while I was on earth

I would see all the trials and tribulations that I went through

It was necessary

That’s how I learned to live and got equipped with the right armor

I will live forever

It might take me a bit to get use to the changes and all the strange things that I would see, but will be thrilled to be there

I will see some of my family members and we would re tale anecdotes of when we were on earth

We would laugh about the many times we cried and felt distressed when something went wrong in our lives. “How silly we were… being a big baby and crying when the universe was trying to teach us something” someone would point out

I would take long walks with Jesus and ask many questions… questions about the universe, science, religion, life and will understand everything

I would literally feel how my mind keeps expanding as I am taking all this knowledge

My mind and the universe expanding in one accord

No more confusion, now everything makes sense

I would be asked to greet new people and it will feel as we knew one another… as if we were old friends but we’ve never met

We would be happy to see each other

When we were living in the world, our souls knew one another, our souls made connections but we were too busy to pay attention. While living on earth, our physical body was in charge and our souls, our poor souls were neglected, suffering in silence

But now it’s time for our souls to rise

This is who I’m really are

This is home where I belong

The clocks keep ticking

Every day gets closer to my departure

Every day I have a chance to prepare myself for that day

My choices affect my decisions and my decisions affect my destiny

I want to fulfill my mission

I want no regrets when I am gone

I want to be ready

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Kreative and Neno's Award

I would like to thank Christine for giving me these awards. Which brings me to my next question WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CHRISTINE? DID I MISS SOMETHING? Anyhow, Christine if you are reading this, I just want to thank you for the awards and hope everything is going well in your life. If you have a chance don’t hesitate to leave me a message.

I would like to pass on Neno’s award to:

The 1.000.000 project: I want to thank you for the many times I laughed while reading your blog.

Slackers with advance degrees: Thomas, I love your sense of humor. Never thought lawyers can be this fun.

Jeah, Lover of life: thanks for reminding me of the many beautiful things that are worth living.

The gardeners life in motion: What can I say.. I guess people need to read your blog so they can understand where I am coming from. You’re not afraid to speak your mind and keeping things honest. It’s a pleasure reading your blog.

It'sUnbeweavable: What a fun blog. It’s so exciting being a girl!

I would like to pass on the Kreative award to:

Novelista barista: Thanks for sharing the world through your eyes, loved your traveling adventures.

My sanctuary: Thanks for allowing me to look into your soul, for not holding back and for sharing your thoughts. Lovely poems.

Valerie Wangnet: Wow! What else can I say. Love your writing style… as Christine once said.. or something like it“ it scares me but some how I keep looking for more.”

Life and Woes: Love your blog; love your sense of humor. Keep up the good work.

Nimrod’s Tower: thanks for the advice that you’ve giving me…. it sure made me see things in a new light.

There are no rules to follow(there were rules but I forgot them.) Just pass on these awards to your favorite bloggers.

Saturday, June 13, 2009


As you all know I haven’t been here in a while. To be honest… I didn’t feel like turning on the computer, writing on my blog, checking my email, I didn’t sign in the msn or facebook. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone, I cancelled many invitations to go out and didn’t call my friends for a while. I drifted into reading and thinking. I was thinking so much but I couldn’t write anything, thinking about so much crap that didn’t make any sense. It might be because for a while I have been jobless, and I can’t work until I solve some issues but this might take about 6 to 8 months. Oddly enough I was not bored because even though I am not working, I am doing a lot of things such as taking care of a family member that is ill, pretty much this occupied most of my day.

When it was time for me to relax, I wasn’t interested in doing things that once were pleasurable to do. I don’t feel I was depressed because I wasn’t sad…. who knows, maybe it was some kind of depression.

At the same time, I discovered the Twilight series… and I love them! I remember when I went to see the movie Twilight; I thought we were going to get kicked out of the movie theater because my friend and I couldn’t stop laughing thinking on how corny the story was… Until I read the book, OMG I totally felt in love with Edward Cullen. I devoured the 1st book in 2 days and the 2nd book in one day. I am currently on the 3rd book but taking it slow because I am approaching the last book and I don’t want it to end! I know how silly it sounds; I never thought that I was going to have dreams about Edward Cullen. I am just hoping that Midnight Sun would come out soon (Edward’s point of view.)

Anyhow, this Friday I resolved to say yes to an invitation to hang out with a couple of friends and decided that it was time to step out of that “daze”. I am overwhelm by the messages that some of you left (especially on 20somethingbloggers.)
I couldn’t help but to feel touched by your concerns and the much love that was received. Thank you, it means a lot to me. I probably would never meet most of you but to know that I have made many good friends through this medium makes me feel that I have incredible amounts of support. As my inner ghetto-fabulous girl would say “you got my back, on citas”!