Monday, March 23, 2009

Why did I come to Canada?! Part 15 of 27


Many days passed and I couldn’t find a job. I had no food no money; I was embarrassed to ask Sasha for money or food. I was hoping for Moe to comeback so that he could buy some food (I know still embarrassing) Anyways,I wasn’t hungry I was too depressed to feel anything.

The next day I was feeling very weak but I had to look for a Job, I felt emotionally, mentally and physically drained all I wanted to do was to lay in bed all day. It was such a drag to put on a happy face but I had to because no one wants to hire someone that looks like crap. I delivered resumes at restaurants, coffee shops, bakeries and other places that I thought might hire under the table.

I had my last resume I went into a coffee shop, the smell of coffee and blueberry muffins reminded me that I was hungry, I recalled being at my mom’s house and the many times that I refused to eat because I was in one of my so called “diets” or my mom made a strange Mexican dish that I thought it was too weird to be edible, how I wished I could eat that. While I waited to be helped I had an Idea (I am sorry if I disappointing many of you but I want to be honest) I saw a bunch of crackers on the counter I took them put them in my purse took a plastic bag and headed for the bathroom, I took a lot of toilet paper and I use the plastic bag to steal hand soap (I didn’t have shampoo at home), luckily the dispenser was full. Obviously I didn’t leave my resume and I still feel embarrassed for stealing, I have never stolen anything in my life hmmm… except when I took paper clips and a white out from work…. Gosh that it’s pretty bad… well I don’t know what to say about that…


The crackers lasted for 2 days, the truth was that I wasn’t even hungry until I felt like passing out that’s when I would eat the crackers. I checked with Sasha to see if someone called in regards of a job but no news. Before leaving her house she gave me some chocolates, tea, a homemade jam and 5 dollar bill. I never told her that I did not have food but I guess she knew that if I didn’t have a job I didn’t have money for food. I was very grateful but at the same time I felt embarrassed and humiliated to be getting money I swallowed my pride and accepted the help. I told her that as soon as I got a job I would give her everything back, she reminded me that she was my friend, and thought of the time when she and her family were working in the Russian mines how they would have very little food and people would share whatever they had.


I went to the convenience store to see Midas but he wasn’t there I talked to another guy and he asked me out,(great, the last thing I needed was that) I told him “no thanks “( I wasn’t ready to start dating and he was really old and totally not my type) I grabbed a bag of bread and putted on the counter to pay for it, he told me not to worry that it wont cost me anything I told him that if he was doing this so that I could go out with him to forget it, I did not want it, He said “no, it’s on me, I won’t ask you for anything.” I was so glad because I did not want to spend those 5 dollars I thanked him and rushed to get out before he changed his mind.

The next day I managed to talk to an owner of a bar and he agreed on hiring me to assist the bartender (I knew nothing about bartending) I showed up at the bar around 10pm talked to the owner and he wanted to see some kind of I.D I showed him my American Passport, he said “I am sorry, I don’t want any trouble, no offense but Americans are bad news, I can’t hire you.”(Why? I have no Idea I was pissed off I didn’t even wanted to talk to him I had to walk home and it was freaking late)


A couple of weeks later………

Back to Sasha’s and to see Midas, he knew that I was not with Piercedtongue and asked me if I wanted to go out for dinner, frankly I thought yes! Dinner! I am going! I kinda felt that maybe he was hitting on me but I wasn’t sure so I did want to jump into conclusion, maybe it is just friendship. We had dinner we talked and I was glad I wasn’t home thinking about Piercedtongue. he said that he had a great time and hoped we could see each other again… he dropped me off asked if he could come in my apartment (Ok , than I knew what the wanted), I said “I can’t it’s not my place I cant let people in” (I didn’t want to have sex with him ewww no way).. he said “ok, maybe you can come to my place tomorrow…( fuck, I knew this dinner wasn’t free) I said “yes maybe” and maybe tomorrow I can do the same thing and have a free dinner. I felt like such a gold digger well more of a food digger.

6 comments:

AlpHa Buttonpusher said...

And where have you been?? You said a post a day..I was going crazy here..lol (they try to make me go to rehab I say no no no..*imagine that I'm doing it in a particularly nazal way..lol*)

Shania said...

LOL OMG you made me laugh so so hard. I am so sorry you are totally right, well you know its pretty much a post a day except weekends and today I had an appointment early morning. I am very sorry ....... I am still laughing about about your comment ohh gosh so funny....

AlpHa Buttonpusher said...

I will take no excuses missy..you got me hooked now you have to pay the piper..lol

.beee. said...

I think I would have done the exact same things that you did if I were in your situation. I don't blame you one bit for any of those things.

Christine said...

Ya, what Alpha said!!! I was on oins and needles over here!!!

Anyway, what a difficult place to be .... no job, food, or money.
I am glad that you decided to accept help.
And as far as dinner ... no matter how they 'make' you feel ... so the 'heck' what!!! They need to get over it .. we are not for sale!

Shania said...

Andrea: You are so funny muahh lov u.

Bee: Thanks I still feel uncomfortable to admit that i was stealing.

Christine: thanks for the advice... well yeah I had to learn how to say no...

 

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