Friday, April 10, 2009

Why did I come to Canada?! Part 23 of 27

Moe brought 2 bottles of vodka. I drank a bit but he was wasted! He crashed right away and I kept talking to Marven. I got a bit sleepy but wasn’t drunk, closed my eyes for a bit and Marven thought I passed out. He got up to say good bye to Moe, he did not answer. Marven came to me and said:” Shania I am leaving” I did not answer. He sat next to me, asked me again, “I am leaving, hello!” I did not feel like answering, just wanted to sleep. I was waiting for him to open the door and leave but I didn’t hear any movement.

He walked back to my direction and touched my hand, began kissing my forehead, my eyes, and lips. I wasn’t sure if I should open my eyes or keep pretending that I am sleeping, I opted for the second choice. I wanted to kiss him back but I wasn’t sure if it would ruin the moment and how about if I kiss him and he gets all freaked out and doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. I was still faking it and enjoying every moment. He kissed my hand one more time, covered me with a blanket and said “good night sweetie”. I couldn’t believe what happened. I was even more confused than before. That night, I wasn’t able to sleep. I was reviving over and over this incident in my head.

Next time I saw Marven, I tried to act as natural as possible. I didn’t want him to know that I was pretending to be sleeping while he was kissing me. I had to control my emotions because every time I saw him, felt butterflies in my stomach. I noticed that Marven was going to Moe’s house more often than before. He would bring food, movies, booze, etc...

One night Marven came home but Moe wasn’t there. I invited him in, we talked for a bit and we kissed. I don’t remember exactly what was going on and who kissed who but we were kissing for a very long time. I wouldn’t consider this making out because there wasn’t much touching of our bodies. I told him that it was a mistake that I did not want to be in trouble with Moe because I was doing this at his house with his best friend’s friend. Marven agreed that it wasn’t appropriate and apologized.
A few days later, Moe received a call from Piercedtongue. Even though Moe was speaking Arabic I knew it was him.

He said: “Shania, He said he is not coming back and he couldn’t talk to you.

WTF! That’s it? I am not coming back and I can’t talk to you? Are you serious? Where the fuck is my apology? Where is my chance to tell him how I feel? Where the hell it’s Shania in all this? It was all reduced to a phone call…..

I said: “I knew he wasn’t coming back, I am not “that stupid”. He would’ve at least had the decency to talk to me.

Moe: “I am sorry Shania; he is a piece of shit of a man. I wish that he would never find a good woman”

I was somewhat surprised that he would be talking this way about his best friend.
I said: “I wish that too. I wish he suffers twice what I suffered and that he would never find love. I hope he dies lonely”

Moe told me that when they were living in the Middle East. They used to party together and Piercedtongue was such a womanizer. Sometimes their parties would last a week and in a weekend they could spend easily about $ 30,000 dollars. They could travel to any part of the world; their parents had the money to do all that. After a while, their parents asked them to help with their family business but they didn’t want to work so they asked to study abroad. They decided to come to the west to study but the partying was much more interesting than their studies. When their parents found out they were not studying, they stopped helping financially.

He told me that they couldn’t return home unless they show up with some kind of degree. Both of them were very irresponsible, but that piercedtongue was the worst. Never could keep a job, nor save money, or pay his bills. That basically I dodged a bullet by not marrying him.

He said “common let’s go out, we can have a good time. I just don’t want you to be crying all night over that douchebag”

I told him “I am not gonna cry for him anymore, he is not worth it. I am over him”
He told me how proud he was of me and kept insisting to go out. I told him that I was going to sleep cause tomorrow I need to start looking for a job again.

He left anyways cause he was such a party animal. The truth was that I did cry, not because I loved him (didn’t feel love towards him) but because he didn’t even bother to apologize to me. Not even a reason on why he left. What did I do wrong? Why did it take months for him to call? Did he find someone better? Was she prettier than I? Was I unlovable? I was full of questions but there were no answers for me.


underOvr (aka The U) said...

Good afternoon Shania,

"...I was full of questions but there were no answers for me."

You know this wasn't about Shania at all. This was his choice, his life, his behavior.

Is there anything Shania could have done to change the outcome? No, I do not believe so.

The man you met and gave your heart to was a selfish-driven illusion.

The important thing is that you have learned from this. You are a better woman and person in spite of what happened along the way.

Be thankful for that


Christine said...

It seems that we all get to the point that we ask those questions.

But thankfully, we also get to a point were we can see that it was never us.

.beee. said...

Wow, you and Marven. He seems like a truly nice guy though. Go for him! hah!
And I can't believe that Piercedtongue could get any worse. Wow, it's hard to believe that there really are people as terrible as him out there.

Richard said...

You didn't do anything wrong. He is just a womanizer, bouncing from one to the next.
The more women that he could bang, the better he feels.

AlpHa Buttonpusher said...

That son of a bi#$%"$#! *excuse my*

Shania said...

thank you all for your comments. At the time I didn't realize that it wasn't me the reason he left. I have learned a lot since then.