Monday, June 22, 2009

When I ‘m gone

The day my time is done, I want to be happy

I want to be complete

I don’t want to have any regrets

I don’t want to be thinking what if? And I should’ve or why didn’t I?

When my time is up

I want to look into the eyes of my family

Without saying a word, with out making a fuss

I want them to know that I had a great life

That while I was here

I made a difference in their lives

No tears, no sadness, no frustration, no negativity

I have done what I can and have fulfilled my mission in life

I had learned so much and truly knew what living meant...

I am ready to meet my creator

I am ready to move to the other dimension

Where there is none of that silliness that I was accustomed while living on earth

In that place, no one cares about how much money you have, the way you look, what your ethnicity is, or what university you graduated from

It will just be me, my true essence...

No façades, no lies, or pretending to be someone that I am not

Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t be able to hide anywhere

I will be exposed

I would be standing there as if I was naked, but won’t feel vulnerable

I will feel confident and whole

I would have to take responsibility for my actions while I was on earth

I would see all the trials and tribulations that I went through

It was necessary

That’s how I learned to live and got equipped with the right armor

I will live forever

It might take me a bit to get use to the changes and all the strange things that I would see, but will be thrilled to be there

I will see some of my family members and we would re tale anecdotes of when we were on earth

We would laugh about the many times we cried and felt distressed when something went wrong in our lives. “How silly we were… being a big baby and crying when the universe was trying to teach us something” someone would point out

I would take long walks with Jesus and ask many questions… questions about the universe, science, religion, life and will understand everything

I would literally feel how my mind keeps expanding as I am taking all this knowledge

My mind and the universe expanding in one accord

No more confusion, now everything makes sense

I would be asked to greet new people and it will feel as we knew one another… as if we were old friends but we’ve never met

We would be happy to see each other

When we were living in the world, our souls knew one another, our souls made connections but we were too busy to pay attention. While living on earth, our physical body was in charge and our souls, our poor souls were neglected, suffering in silence

But now it’s time for our souls to rise

This is who I’m really are

This is home where I belong

The clocks keep ticking

Every day gets closer to my departure

Every day I have a chance to prepare myself for that day

My choices affect my decisions and my decisions affect my destiny

I want to fulfill my mission

I want no regrets when I am gone

I want to be ready


Fidget Midget said...

Hey Shania, thanks for checking up on me! I'm doing alright, I suppose. The days are pretty uneventful at the moment since I am jobless, but I'm trying to keep myself occupied in the meantime. How are you doing? I really like this post, by the way. I struggle with worrying over everything and feeling regretful over mistakes I've made. It will be a true accomplishment to get past that one day!

Anonymous said...

Beautifully written, moving and so sensuality expressive! You have got such a great way of writing! I know how long it can take to get words like these from out of your head and onto the screen!

Wendy said...

great post.

i want to be ready too.

Valerie Wangnet said...

Very thoughtful, very beautiful. Your blog is a sanctuary.

Shania said...

Fidget Midget: I am doing great thanks for asking. don' worry about mistakes, in my opinion mistakes are part of our humanity, that's how we know we are alive.

Greenfingers: thanks so much for your comment, it means A LOT especially coming from such a great writer as yourself.

Wendy: Thanks, I want to be ready as well but I have a long way to go.

Valerie Wangnet: Thank you Thank you. My blog is the only place where I can be myself.

Anonymous said...

Really great writing on here ... keep it up!



William H. Balzac said...

This poem is a positive reinforcement for anyone who doubts & questions what meaning they can from the lives they live.

I love the way you use the declarative form: inspiring.

No regrets. Excellent.


William H. Balzac said...

*...meaning they can gather..."

(typo)..whoops, again.