Perhaps I am just not sure
What is happiness?
Maybe my idea of happiness is different from what I thought
What is contentment?
Could it be that I am just asking for too much.. Or expecting a lot from you
What is fairness?
What? I don’t think it exists… at least not in this world (I am not sure if fairness exist ... yet I would fight for it)
What is assertiveness?
It sure is something that I am missing right now
What is confusion?
Exactly what I am feeling right now
>
It feels as if I am evolving… and it’s painful, it’s frustrating, it’s confusing …..
I am evolving into what? I have no idea, all I have are questions and there are no answers..
Could it be a quarter life crisis? I have no idea …..
I need to find myself.. I can’t even recognize myself sometimes… it feel as if I am not me anymore. In the outside it looks like me but in the inside it doesn’t feel like me… but then again who was I before? How do I know that was the real me? I am still in the same place I started, one question after another one… the answers that I get formulate another question.. and another one and another… ultimately I end up being more confused than before.
Don’t get me wrong… I pretty much have the same philosophy and hold the same principles that I had since the beginning of this “confusion” but I am still confused about other things….
The worst part is that people still come to me for advice… I had to tell them to make their own decisions … that probably it's time for them to find the answers within themselves… something that I haven’t been able to do for myself.
What do I want?
I don’t know
What do I need?
Who knows?
Why do I feel this way?
I don’t know but I know I must remain positive and I am somewhat positive……
I must see it as an opportunity…. To re-evaluate myself, to find myself and to prepare for what might be coming… the one theory I can make out of this, is that “maybe” my mind is preparing for something… preparing for a change…. What kind of change?? I have no idea… will it be a positive change? I really hope so, I hate drama. But like I keep saying “everything happens for a reason” (I guess this should be my motto) There are no good or bad experiences… I believe it is just neutral; we make it bad or good depending on what we get out of it. In the end I think everything is what we make of it. Change is coming ….. I just hope I make a good thing off of it.
