Why did I come to Canada?! Part 7 of 27

The morning after, he woke up before I did. I opened my eyes and wondered where I was, I realized that it was not a dream but in fact this was my reality. My eyes were searching for him but could not find him anywhere. I rushed to the bathroom, the door was left ajar, he was standing shirtless in front of a mirror brushing his teeth, and before I had a chance to hide (because I just woke up, I did not know how I looked) he smiled and asked me how was I feeling, I told him that I was very embarrassed with what happened last night, he said that it was normal, it happens the first time, trust me you will like it.

He asked me if I wanted to go the store to buy some groceries, I accepted and started to get ready. I had no winter clothes except for some scarves and gloves that I bought prior coming to Canada. He helped me to put on my scarf, kissed me and offered to lend me one of his jackets, I putted it on and I looked ridiculous, so I opted for one of my jackets and dealt with the cold.


We came back, made lunch cuddled and watch movies (tapes) because he had no cable. It was probably 6pm when we heard a knock on the door, it was two of his friends Marven and Loizo he introduced me as his wife to be (I thought it was totally cute.)
We talked for a while and I completely liked Marven; besides being exceptionally good looking he was very polite and nice. Loizo was hideous (inside and out) arrogant and idiotic, I loathed him right away.

After they left, Piercedtongue and I started making out, he asked me if I wanted to have sex I told him no, that it was too painful. We kept kissing, touching, stroking; for a second time he asked me, I said no maybe tomorrow. I wanted to have sex but I was too frightened. We kept kissing this time we were basically dry humping, yet again he continued asking, and I finally gave in. We had sex, it was a still painful and I even bleed a bit but it was nothing like before.

The next morning I woke up before him, took a shower, putted make up on and tried to look my best. I made breakfast (no bacon cause he was Muslim) toasts and eggs :( We ate and had sex all day,all kinds of sex, it was not painful at all, I was really enjoying it, I was learning new stuffs that I only saw in porn. I was having a good time; I felt this closeness that I’ve never felt before. I was feeling sexy, and beautiful.

The thought of knowing that I could provoke a man with just looking at him or showing him my body, to have the ability to arouse him whenever I felt like, I discover a power that I did not know I had . I felt like a “woman”.


I called my best friend and told her how happy I was. I can’t remember what she said; I was high in love, lust and the novelty of sexual pleasure.
To be continued..

Why did I come to Canada?! Part 4 of 27

Two days before thanksgiving and 1 day to go. I told my mom that I was going to Canada and that I had it with her drama. She did not ask any relevant questions, my uncle on the other hand was a little perplexed and concerned, asked me who was I going with I told him with a couple of friends from college, he said to be careful and to not be angry at my mother. I figure that since she was a bitch with me, she did not deserve to know the truth, anyways she wanted me gone.


I was rushing to get everything ready and I did not have much time to think, nor sleep. I said my final good byes and I was sad to leave my 2 brothers with the witch.

I got to the airport and it hit me, I began to realize the importance of my actions, I started getting nervous and shaking. I had to control myself because this was after 9/11 when everybody was paranoid and I did not want to look suspicious, the last thing I needed is to be stopped by police because they think I am about to blow up a plain. I had to wait a couple of hours for my plane, I went to the chapel in the airport and I just poured my heart out to God.

I was so afraid, I was all ready in the airport and there was no going back. I cried and prayed that he wasn’t a psychopath and murder me like in the movies; I did not wish to die that way. I asked God to forgive me for being stubborn and disobedient. I stopped crying because I was ruining my make up and did not want to re do it.

After 5 hours in a plane I arrived in Canada.

I was half awake and extremely exhausted because I had no sleep the night before. I rushed to retouch my make up, made sure that my hair was in place, checked if I still smelled fresh and ensured that my clothes were not too wrinkled.

It was about 9 pm and there I was in Canada home of the maple leaf.
To be continued...

Why did i come to Canada?! Part 2 of 27

My best friend was concerned, she gave me advice to be best of her knowledge but I wasn’t listening, of course I was scared, but I also was enjoying having him in my life.

I was always thinking about him, we were on the phone 24/7. He would call me to wake me up, I called him during my lunch hour and right after work, he called during school brakes and after school, it was insane. He told me that he wanted to marry me that he was tired of being alone. We were making plans for the future, our future.


At church I was not there physically, I was somewhere else lost in the limbo, still thinking about him, thinking on how are we going to work this out, is he serious about this? Does he want to marry me and start a family? Do I want to start a family? With a guy that has a different religion then mine? All I knew was that this time I am not going to let my insecurities keep me from true love.

I could not confide with anybody in church, I felt that they were all puritans, they will never understand. I must have been acting strange because a church member approached me and said:
-- I know it is not my business but you look different
--I said different how?
--He said are you seeing someone?

He was married to a very lovely woman they were a young couple; he seemed trustworthy so I confided in him. I told him, he was from Canada but I never mentioned that I met him online, that I have never seeing the guy in person. I told him that he was Muslim and that I loved him.

I did not feel that he was judging me like I’ve felt with other people before. He was calmed and he gave me a wise advice, he said it did not matter if he was Muslim but I should really think about setting some ground rules if I wanted to be in a serious relationship. He asked if he could meet him and that he will be praying for us. Of course he cannot meet him; I have not even met him myself. I said yes sure, you will meet him one of these days.


I talked to piercedtongue and we talked about religion, I told him that I cannot change my religion, that my kids when they are young will go to my church, I did not want him to control they way I dressed, I was not ok if he decided to have more than one wife, and that I had a stereotype that Middle Eastern men were very controlling and wife beaters. He agreed to my demands and said that this will not be a problem; He laughed and said that Middle Eastern men thought that most American women were whores; he asked me if it was true I said NO! It is not true, and then he said,” see, it is just a silly stereotype”
I felt assured in knowing that we already talked about these issues and we came to an understanding.
All I had to worry was to be happy and prepare myself for my new future.

To be continued…

Why did I come to Canada?! Part 1 of 27

{I have not finished writing this entry so I am not sure how many parts I have but it is a long one, please bear with me. As soon as I finish writing it I will let you know how many parts are remaining. Thank you for your understanding}



I had a one way airplane ticket to Canada in my hand. I could not believe what I was doing. It was crazy, insane, there was no logic.

A few weeks prior buying my ticket I explain to my best friend, what I was about to do. She insisted that it was not a wise idea, I did not care I made up my mind and there was no human power stopping me.

The truth was that a found a way out, a way out of my mother’s house, away out of my loneliness and a way out of this monotony. I wanted to breathe a different air, there was a lack of something, I needed something exiting, and I was bored. Now that I think about it my mother did play a big factor in making my decision but I cannot say that she made me do this, I really can’t tell if I would have done the same thing with out her constant disapproval of everything, I guess I was rebelling, I don’t know maybe it was fate.

I met him online, Yahoo to be exact. I had a friend from Canada named Mike I talked to Mike for sometime (met him in yahoo also) he was a nice Palestinian guy living in Canada, our relationship was extrictly friendship.

One day while in college I was feeling kind of bored, my lecture was so boring and I could not get myself to concentrate, I did not want to be there. I opened my messenger and there was no one to talk to, I decided to enter a chat room. Piercedtongue420 requested to talk to me I accepted we talk for sometime, he was a slow typists and I was getting annoyed but I continued talking to him because I rather do that then concentrate on my lecture.

I mentioned that I had a friend named Mike living in the metropolitan area; he told me that he had a cousin named Mike living in the metropolitan area as well, he described him exactly like the Mike I knew, I thought it was such a curious coincidence.

I sent a message to Mike asking him if he knew this guy, I waited a few days and there was no response from Mike. I talked to piercedtongue420, I asked him what was going on with Mike why he wasn’t answering my emails, Piercedtongue said that he went back to Middle East to visit family. We hit it off quite well by this time we were already talking on the phone for hours. His cousin Mike finally came back, I spoke to him on the phone and explain to him who I was and that I talked to him before, he said he did not know who I was, I gave” my Mike’s” email address and it wasn’t him, it was all a mistake. To me this did not matter, I thought: oh well it is not important. I liked piercedtongue


I was spending a fortune on calling cards; I neglected my studies, my social life, my church etc...


When I met piercedtongue I had ended a 1 ½ year relationship, well if you can call it a relationship. To me it was indeed the most rich and inspiring relationship I’ve ever had. I regretted not taking chances and being a coward, too scared and worried about what people would think of me that I let this opportunity passed. It was my firs Love (Check out my Post “My first Love” I will be posting it soon.)

Piercedtongue and I were spending so much time together, on the phone,webcam,email. We were so in lust. I was enjoying having him in my life, it was a thrill, it was exiting, I could be myself. He was so caring he listened to everything I had to say, he was so handsome, and he was a dream. Although I was having all this emotions I never thought it was serious, I wanted to enjoy this ride, I wanted to live this fantasy for as long as I could.


While putting gas in my car I was on the phone with him (Yes, I know dangerous, at least that’s what I heard) he asked me to come and see him, he gave his reason why he could not come to see me, he offered to pay for half of my airplane ticket, I accepted and told him to give me about 8 months to save money and to wait for a school brake. At that moment I clearly remember telling my self: Shania you are in deep deep trouble.
To be continued…